It's All Been Done
by Audrey Lynne
Summary: As Rodney finds out when he runs afoul of a piece of Ancient technology, a lot of the Ancients' plans sucked. But some were different. Rodney soon finds out HOW much. Plus, Radek firsthand learns why playing with electricity is bad. Tao of Rodney spoilers


_**It's All Been Done**_

_by Audrey Lynne_

_Author's notes: I never expected to write a fic that would tie pieces of "Before I Sleep" to "Tao of Rodney." But here it is. I don't much like the Ancients, like many SGA fans, and I ended up loving Janus, because he's like the anti-Ancient, the rebel who broke all the rules, just because he could. But a rebel's life can be lonely, and so Janus needed a friend who believed as he did. Enter Kynan. But whatever happened to them? Blame the song I took the title from, along with my desire to write missing scenes/perspectives from Tao of Rodney. Obviously, spoilers from and up to that episode._

_I knew you before the fall of Rome..._

_-"It's All Been Done," Barenaked Ladies_

_Ten thousand years ago..._

Kynan sighed anxiously and tried not to pace as he waited for the last group to come through from Atlantis. On Earth, in another galaxy, they ensured their survival; the Wraith would not take Atlantis and their people would survive. But Atlantis had been their beloved city, and leaving it was far more difficult than Kynan could ever have imagined. As the outpost's chief scientist, he had been made to go through the Stargate with the first group of evacuees, and therefore, Kynan had far too much time to worry about his friends. Especially Janus. If ever a man was too resourceful for his own good, it was Janus. He might well have been the one in charge of the science division if not for the fact that the Council leaders didn't like his methods.

As chief scientist, Kynan knew of Janus' experiments, but unlike the Council, he approved of them. Janus' ideas were revolutionary among their people, meaning they were therefore doomed to rejection from the Council. However, Kynan personally found modifying a spacecraft to have time travel capabilities much more useful than a machine that would speed up ascension. Especially as the machine had never worked properly. Several of their people had died before Kynan and Janus had been able to go over it and figure out the fatal error, and as far as Kynan was concerned, it was several too many. If only the Council hadn't insisted it be rushed into completion. If only they'd allowed time for proper testing. It wasn't the only spectacular scientific failure related to the Council's desire to gain the upper hand in the war with the Wraith.

Finally, Janus came through with the last group, and Kynan breathed a sigh of relief. Janus had been a dear friend of his for many years, and Kynan hadn't been convinced Janus wouldn't try something in an effort to stay in Atlantis. Kynan had been tempted, himself, but ultimately, he'd been forced to accept the inevitable truth. Atlantis was lost to them--but at least their visitor from the future gave them hope that the city would survive.

Fortunately, their ancestors had left a small base behind when they'd left for Pegasus, just a shielded area around the Stargate that would enable them to arrive safely. It would take time to extend the base properly, to make this wasteland of ice and snow more livable, but they would do it. And they would establish their lives here, explore this galaxy, and continue their quest for ascension. But it wouldn't be the same on Earth, not ever. Not for Kynan, anyway, and he knew Janus felt the same. Kynan waited until he had Janus alone for a moment to ask, "Do you think it will work?"

"I've done everything I can," Janus said. "The Council is going to be keeping an extra-close eye on me, as we both know, but hopefully, I can continue some of our work. _Our_ work, I remind you."

Kynan smiled. "Yes, I know." Janus had long ago realized he was going to have to take the fall for most of their unsanctioned experiments, but if things ever got too hot for him to handle, Kynan would step in to help him out. "So, assuming the stasis chamber works as programmed, Elizabeth will rotate the zero point modules, and that will give the shield enough power to keep the city safe once her people arrive?"

"Ideally, yes." They had worked the plan out together, in secret, while Kynan had convinced the council he was busy with other things, like working on improvements to the control chair. "At the last minute, I programmed in a failsafe, so if the shield fails, the city will rise. Her people won't meet needless deaths again."

Kynan smiled. "Janus, you're brilliant." He sighed. "Elizabeth's past cannot be altered, but hopefully, we've kept history from repeating itself in the future. The only question is, did we do enough?"

Janus shrugged. "Assuming we ever manage to figure out the key to ascension, I suppose we'll know in ten thousand years."

--------------

_Present day..._

Rodney McKay couldn't believe his good fortune. At first, he'd been royally freaked out when the Ancient machine they'd found had activated and done its glowing light arc around him, but he had gained some pretty cool superpowers from the thing, so it couldn't be all bad. He felt fine, and he was discovering more incredible new abilities by the minute. The telepathy had gotten old fast, but the incredible knowledge that was suddenly available to him? The telekinesis? The heightened senses? With powers like that, Rodney would never be bored. Finally, he was going to do some good for this city, things that would make a lasting difference, rather than putting a finger in the dam and hoping it would hold.

No one else seemed to get how very awesome this whole situation was. Those who weren't worried were suspicious, and some were both. Rodney had tried to reassure them there was nothing to worry about, because he was fine and he would never use his powers against them, unless it meant snatching a doughnut or two. God, he missed Tim Horton's. But pastries aside, Rodney would never turn his abilities on his friends, and while he knew they understood that intellectually, they were having a harder time grasping it on an emotional level. They never seemed to be content unless they had something to worry about.

The ability to think faster also manifested itself in the ability to work faster. Ever since he had discovered Kavanaugh's habit of sending weekly memos back to Stargate Command, detailing every last thing Elizabeth had done wrong, Rodney had been writing a series rebuttals. Elizabeth deserved someone who'd do that for her, after all, because she did have to put up with a lot of crap. Rodney wouldn't have wanted her job. However, he had an image to maintain, and so he kept the file to himself, figuring he could always load it to another disk if he needed to share it someday. Currently, the file was running about twenty pages, and Rodney was quite proud of himself when it took him less than five minutes to add another two.

Rodney might have done more, but an idea suddenly hit him and he was off to the chair room. Thank God for Carson's gene therapy, because he needed to make the chair work to pull this off. But if he _could_ pull it off, their power distribution issues would be over.

--------------

_I knew you before the west was won.../And I heard you say, "The past was much more fun..."_

_Five thousand years ago..._

Kynan had always suspected that ascension was highly overrated, and five thousand years of it had proven his theory. He'd opted for ascension because, compared to dying, it was the lesser of two evils, but ascension consisted largely of boredom. Thankfully, Janus felt the same way, and though the Council members, all of whom were as annoying in ascension as in life, tried to keep a close eye on the two of them, they couldn't always succeed. As long as Kynan and Janus kept things low-key, they knew they'd be fine. After all, Oma was running around helping those on the lower planes ascend, which was a serious no-no, and she was getting away with it for the most part.

Janus was nothing if not sneaky, and in the last few years of his life, he'd managed to work behind the Council's back to complete the work he and Kynan had begun together, then hide most of it away on other planets. Kynan had managed to distract the Council with his own projects, carefully selected to be ones he was sure they'd approve of, and though it had gotten him yelled at a few times, it was probably only fair. After all, Janus was usually the one facing the wrath of the Council. These days, they still found themselves being yelled at on a regular basis when the Council thought they were going too far outside the line, and there didn't seem to be a lot of differences in the experience. So they could glow now, big deal.

Kynan was in a good mood, however, because most of the Council was going to be attending a summit with the Nox, the Asgard, and the Furlings, so they would be too busy to pay much attention to a couple of rebel scientists. He smiled as Janus joined him. "You needn't look over your shoulder too much these next few days--the Council's meeting with the other three 'Great Races' over this growing Goa'uld problem. Very important summit, I'm told. And, of course, you'll notice that there were two names conspicuously absent from the guest list."

Janus laughed. "Yes, yours and mine, not that we had any desire to go in the first place." He appeared to give the matter some thought. "I don't think they like us, Kynan."

Kynan laughed; that was hardly news. "Well, that works out rather well, then, because as I seem to recall, we don't like them."

"No, we don't." Janus grinned. "I bet the Nox would like us."

"Yes, but they like everybody, so that's hardly telling, is it?" Kynan smiled back at his friend. "The Asgard are helpful enough, most days. The Furlings, though...I'm not convinced they actually exist. Have you ever met one?"

"No, I haven't." Janus shrugged. "At the very least, you think they could have picked a better name for their race."

"What, as if the Council suddenly deciding we should call ourselves 'Ancients' rather than Alterrans to denote our change in ethereal status was so much better?"

"I didn't say I liked that name either," Janus replied.

Kynan nudged him playfully. "You're just impossible to please, aren't you? What _would_ you like to be called?"

Janus looked wistful for a moment, and he sobered a bit. "In your heart, I think you know we're both Lanteans. It's not our people we're tied to; it's our home."

Kynan nodded. While ascension afforded them a lot of options, unfortunately, resuming their former lives in Atlantis wasn't one of them--yet. "We'll get her back someday, Janus. Somehow, I just know it."

--------------

_Present day..._

_Well, doesn't this just suck?_ Pissed was not quite a strong enough word to describe how Rodney felt about the Ancients' latest screwup. All right, to be fair, it wasn't their _latest_; that honor belonged to the group of pretentious assholes who had booted them out of Atlantis not so long ago. But the ascension machine not only failing to work right but also failing to be labeled with a clear sign that said not to touch it? Big screwup right there. And one that was going to kill him, if the worried thoughts at the forefront of Elizabeth's mind were to be believed. And John's, too. Oh, God, he was going to die. If he didn't ascend. And to be honest, Rodney was not all that big on the ascending option.

Options, he needed more options. But he didn't have any. And something inside Rodney really resisted ascension, though he couldn't have said why. Maybe because if the Ancients were all or even mostly like the ones who had unceremoniously kicked them out of Atlantis, he wanted nothing to do with them. That Janus guy, the one who had helped Elizabeth and set the failsafe to let Atlantis rise, he sounded okay, but the others? Who needed 'em? They might have had awesome technology, but they had not particularly endeared themselves to Rodney on a personal level.

Alarms were sounding elsewhere in the room, and Rodney had to switch gears and try to pay attention. Crap, his new power schemes for Atlantis were going haywire because he'd gotten distracted and stopped in the middle. He had to fix that. Some of the systems were overloading, and that could get dangerous.

"Zelenka, where's Zelenka? What the hell has _he_ been doing?" Rodney snapped. He knew Radek was working on the machine, trying to figure out what it had done to Rodney and how it might be reversed, but Rodney wasn't thinking very rationally at the moment. He felt like blaming somebody, and Radek always made a convenient target, because he was good at putting up with it, even if he snarked at Rodney over it. Rodney rather liked the snark.

When no one answered him, not that he'd expected them to, Rodney got a deliciously twisted idea. He knew his newfound telepathy wasn't only limited to receptive powers; he could project as well. And when the power went out, Radek would have left his lab and headed for the chair room, so he'd probably be within the limits of Rodney's range. Wouldn't it just freak Radek right out for Rodney to call him without using the radio? Rodney reached out, trying to filter through the many minds to find Radek. He recognized the mental signature instantly, though he wasn't sure quite how that worked, and opened himself to it.

Instantly, Rodney was flooded with a rush of emotions--anger, terror, pain. Pain. Lots of pain. He recoiled physically and walled off his mind again. "Get a medical team to him, now."

"Who?" Elizabeth asked, stepping forward.

"Radek!" Rodney snapped, then realized she couldn't have known. He moved to the chair, making sure the rest of the power grids were stable; they certainly didn't need any more casualties. He told them Radek's location, then finished his work and staggered to his feet. Elizabeth was returning to Rodney's side about the same time. Fortunately, the infirmary was reasonably close to Radek's location; he might have had a chance. Rodney was pretty sure Radek was unconscious in that moment their minds had touched, which let a lot bleed over, but it had been more than enough to tell Rodney the story. "Did you call them?"

Elizabeth nodded. "Yes, but what's wrong?"

Rodney shook his head and motioned for them to join him as he ran toward the door. His head was swimming, and not just because of all the changes the ascension machine had unleashed. "He got hit by a bolt of energy...in the chest, I think."

Elizabeth gasped. "How do you know that?"

Rodney waved a dismissive hand. "Long story. But we've got to get to him. I think he's dying."

--------------

_Two thousand years ago..._

"I cannot even begin to imagine how much trouble we're going to be in for this one." If he'd had a desk, Kynan would have been dropping his head against it. As it was, he had to settle for his hands. He liked retaining some semblance of human form, about as much as the Others liked to show off with their pretentious lightshows.

Janus didn't appear to be half as concerned. "Oh, come on; it's not as if we're the first ascended beings to appear to humans on the lower plane. Orlin and Oma do it with some regularity. Sure, they get yelled at now and then, but so do we, for a great many other things. We're used to _that_."

"But Orlin didn't get himself declared a minor deity!" Kynan reminded him. "And Oma...she's in a league of her own. But I suppose you might be joining her soon. You'd make a lovely pair--Mother Nature and Janus, the god of _time_!"

"That was an accident!" Janus insisted, somehow managing to look completely innocent. "They're a technologically immature culture. How was I to know the young priestess would take me seriously when I told her I'd learned to manipulate time itself?"

Kynan rolled his eyes. "Oh, I don't know. Perhaps it had something to do with that fact that, as human as you looked, you were _glowing_ at the time?"

Janus startled, as if genuinely surprised. "I was?"

He could not be serious. "Janus, please tell me I have not overestimated your intelligence over the years. How could you _not_ _notice_ the glowing?!"

"I was...distracted," Janus admitted, looking suitably sheepish. "The lady, she reminded me of Elizabeth, and I got to thinking of Atlantis, and hoping the failsafe will indeed work when it's needed..."

"Which shouldn't be for another two thousand years," Kynan pointed out. "Honestly. Janus, the new god of time for the Roman people."

"You're just jealous they didn't declare you god of anything."

"I don't want to be god of anything," Kynan argued.

"Neither did I!"

Kynan ignored him. "I was supposed to be keeping an eye on you, not that they were exercising particularly sound judgment when handing _me_ that task this decade. For all that's holy...if I get blamed for this, I'm never letting you talk me into anything again." Never mind how hollow a threat that was. They talked each other into everything.

_Kynan_.

Kynan froze as he heard his supervisor's voice in his head, which was somehow so much worse than the times they'd called for him over the citywide announcement system in Atlantis. _Yes?_

_We need to speak with you and Janus about your activities. Immediately._

Here it came. Kynan shot daggers at Janus. "I hate you."

Janus responded with his typical humor. "You'll get over it in a few decades."

--------------

_Present day..._

Rodney had been running toward the site of the accident when, halfway, he realized the infirmary was probably the better place to go. He'd turned around immediately, Elizabeth and John following and probably confused as hell. Rodney had blocked their thoughts; he couldn't deal with them at the moment, and he had no time to explain.

Because of the delay while Rodney had tried to figure out where the hell he was going, Carson and his team beat Rodney, John, and Elizabeth to the infirmary by seconds. Radek looked every bit as awful as Rodney had known he would, and Rodney heard himself calling his friend's name as he rushed in. God, he'd never meant for this to happen. Sure, he picked on Radek a lot, but they were friends down deep, at least Rodney had always thought so. Certainly, he'd never have wanted anything bad to happen to Radek. And this was beyond bad.

The medics were doing CPR and Carson was yelling a lot of medical instructions Rodney wasn't paying attention to, because he was focused on the hole in Radek's chest. Okay, it wasn't a hole so much as a huge third-degree burn with heaven knows what kind of organ damage beneath. Suddenly, Rodney's concerns about the state of his own life didn't matter, because there was no way in hell Radek could survive something like that. Struck by lightning directly in the chest? Not a chance. Even if he did survive, he would never be the same.

Suddenly, Rodney knew what he had to do. He yelled for everybody to back off, knowing he would face Carson's wrath, but not caring. If this worked, Carson wouldn't _have_ to worry about Radek's fate. Rodney tossed off an automatic answer to Carson's protests and moved his hands into position.

Rodney would have thought he'd have been freaked out about his hands glowing, but really, it was kind of cool. Or it would have been if Rodney's mind hadn't been completely occupied with the task at hand. Healing burns, knitting decimated blood vessels back together. Restoring damaged lungs, repairing Radek's heart and coaxing it to beat again. At this level, their very souls were connected, and the feeling was both incredible and terrifying. Rodney had never been this meshed with another human being before, and he wasn't sure he ever wanted to again.

And, then, it was done. It had been less than a minute, but it felt like eons to Rodney. Radek gasped, drawing in a breath, and began to awaken. Rodney watched in amazement and shock. God, he'd just brought Radek back to life. He should have been jazzed, but instead...it scared him. Raising the dead was _not_ in the chief scientist's job description.

As Rodney continued to stare at Radek, a flash of memory assaulted him. Children, running through the halls of Atlantis, laughing. Athosian kids? No, Ancient children. There hadn't been Ancient children in Atlantis in ten thousand years. Now was he in touch with the computers, too? Had healing Radek opened him up to everything?

Rodney couldn't handle it anymore. Healing Radek was overwhelming enough, but now images of the past were trickling in, and he didn't know if he had accidentally forged a telepathic link with Atlantis' database or if this was one more step on the way to losing his mind. It was too much. After looking one more time to ensure Radek really _was_ alive and whole, Rodney bolted from the infirmary.

--------------

_You go your way; I go mine / But I'll see you next time..._

_Forty years ago..._

Energy could neither be created nor destroyed; it only changed forms. That was an immutable law of science, if a basic one, and Kynan was putting all his trust in it. He and Janus had been conspiring for most of the last ten thousand years to find a way home to Atlantis, to be able to live it. Finally, humanity on Earth had advanced to the point where, with a few lucky breaks--like figuring out how the Stargate they had in mothballs worked--they could find Atlantis themselves, eventually. The Others didn't think so. They underestimated these humans. And Kynan would soon be one.

Descending was really the only option, and Kynan and Janus had known that all along. Unfortunately, with their predilection for getting into trouble, there was simply no way the Others would allow them to retake human form and retain their knowledge. They would have tipped the humans around them off right away. However, the rules also clearly stated any ascended being who wished to could choose to retake human form. The rules, however, had not specified how. Janus and Kynan had been offered a choice. Yes, they could become humans, but it wouldn't be the same. They would be reincarnated, essentially, born all over as human infants, blank slates to be molded by the world around them and the genetic material of their parents. They would not be given the gene that would allow them to activate any technology the Ancients had left on Earth, and most importantly, they would not be allowed to go together.

It was the ultimate gamble. Did they risk going now and living out their new natural lifespan before Atlantis was rediscovered? Did they risk going and not knowing of Atlantis even if it was found? Ultimately, Janus and Kynan had decided they had to take an additional gamble, that a piece of who they had been would live on in their subconscious. Would it guide them to the right fields, the right people? There was no way to know, but they had to try. Because, even if they tried and failed, they would never know what they were missing. If never tried, they would always regret it.

Janus had gone already, and Kynan had been allowed to peek in on him once. He made an awfully cute toddler in his new form. Kynan knew he was likely to be sent to a family on the opposite end of the Earth to further ensure the two of them would never team up again, but he had faith things would fall into place. He trusted himself and Janus more than he had ever trusted any of the others, and most importantly, he trusted Atlantis herself would call them home when the time was right.

The only true benefit Kynan had found to a non-corporeal form was the ability to be anywhere he pleased instantly. He showed up before the Council--unfortunately, he didn't interrupt them during anything important. Pity, that. "It's been long enough," he insisted. "I want to go now." Without Janus around to confer with, ascension had been even _more_ boring, and the people he couldn't stand far outnumbered those he could.

"As you wish." The head of the Council stood, waving a hand...and with that, Kynan's life as an ascendant ended and somewhere on Earth, his new one began.

--------------

_Present day..._

There was simply not enough time to do everything before the stupid Ancient get-rich-quick version of ascension killed him. Rodney had already filled several white boards with important calculations, talked to Halling about having tea with Teyla, finished his book about Elizabeth, and tried to think of what he could do for Ronon, Sheppard, and Radek, but there was still too much to do. However, since healing Radek had given him that little ascended-brain boost to link with the computer, Rodney had been trying to make sense of the images that kept popping into his head. They were mostly the same ones, over and over, and thoughts and hints of things. The name Kynan came up a lot.

A quick bit of research told Rodney that Kynan had been the name of the chief scientist on Atlantis back when the Ancients had occupied the city. That had to be the connection; Rodney had basically inherited the poor schmuck's job. Maybe _not_ a poor schmuck, if he'd invented that damned ascension machine. If that was the case, Rodney officially hated him too. He'd have to do more research later, once he had tea with Teyla, gave Elizabeth her book, and talked to Ronon, Radek, and Sheppard. And decided whether he liked dying or ascending better. At least part of the mystery was solved; if he had a telepathic link with the computer, it only made sense that his mind might seek out information he would find of personal interest.

Elizabeth kept trying to encourage him to meditate, and Rodney suspected if he didn't do it soon, she'd order him to try. But ascension was his choice, right? He could ascend and come back. It had been done before. Repeatedly by some people. But a big part of Rodney resisted the idea and though he was no psychologist, he didn't need Kate Heightmeyer's skills to tell him that meant he seriously needed to take a long look at himself before making a decision. Unfortunately, he didn't have _time_ for that kind of self-examination. Maybe he could cover that during a meditation session.

As he headed out of the lab to see if he could find any of his friends and cross a few more things off his ever-increasing to do list, Rodney wondered if he could control weather yet, or if that would have to wait until he was fully ascended. He hurried to the nearest balcony and tried to make it rain. Nothing. Damn, that would have been cool. It would have been cooler if he could have learned to fly by manipulating wind currents like Storm.

Halle Berry definitely made a better Storm than she did Catwoman.

Michelle Pfeiffer...now _there_ was one hot Catwoman.

It was official, Rodney thought, shaking his head and making himself focus on what he had to do versus useless daydreaming. He had always been sure he'd be a geek until the day he died, but now he had proof. Because he was going to be either one dead geek or one ascended geek before too much longer, and he still wasn't sure which would be worse.

--------------

Rodney wasn't lying when he told his friends he was experiencing a sense of peace. Really, he was, and that was what convinced him to at least give the ascension thing more than a half-assed shot. If he made it, great--he'd come back to his friends as soon as possible. If he didn't? Well, whatever afterlife he ended up in, he could at least say he'd tried. Better to make a play for the round-trip ticket than accept a one-way without complaint.

Rodney closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he expected to see the clichéd light at the end of the tunnel or dead loved one waiting for him, or even Peter Grodin or one of the many other people who had died since coming to Atlantis waiting to give Rodney an ethereal smackdown. The devil or one of his minions would have been an unwelcome sight, if not altogether unexpected, but neither hellfire nor heaven seemed to await Rodney. Just a...void.

Dammit, he'd ended up in purgatory, hadn't he? And he wasn't even Catholic. Rodney hated ending up in places he'd never believed in.

"Call it that if you like." Rodney turned around to see a young woman standing behind him. She reminded him of Miko a little, without the glasses. "This is your last chance to turn back."

"Turn back?" Rodney echoed. "Excuse me?" What was he turning back from? Ascension? Death? Purgatory? All of the above? "Who are you?"

The woman laughed. "I see you haven't changed much in your desire to get answers, though your new life has apparently provided you with less tact. You were quite the smooth-talker back in the day. Of course, you had to be, to placate the Council as often as you did."

"The Council?" Rodney echoed. And then he _remembered_. Everything. Playing hide and seek in the labs as a child, working on the timeship's prototype, ten thousand years of alternating boredom with mischief and trying to stay one step ahead of the damned Council. Taking a gamble on starting a new life and winning. Meredith Rodney McKay had always known he was special, but it wasn't until he came to this place somewhere between life and death that he realized just how damned special he was.

Kynan's life had ended in a sense, but Rodney's had begun.

And the damned thing was, now he remembered what life as a child in Atlantis was like, and now he was _really_ pissed at that Quindosin woman for taking his ZedPM. And, yes, he still thought of it as a ZedPM. He could have cheerfully killed her before, but now he really wanted to track the bitch down and tell her exactly who he was. He'd been the Lantean version of a geek before. He was a geek now. Energy could neither be created nor destroyed. But crazy cults who insisted on stealing _his_ ZedPMs? Oh, they could be destroyed.

The woman--her name was Lanca; she'd been one of the people he could stand--laughed. "Kynan, focus. Space and time may mean nothing here, and hours may pass for us while seconds pass on other planes, but we still do not have all of eternity. You have to make a decision."

"Rodney," he corrected automatically. "I'm not Kynan anymore. I'm Rodney McKay." Rodney shrugged. "I may not be perfect, but...it's who I am."

"An excellent lesson for you to learn," Lanca said, nodding approvingly. "The choice is yours."

"It would figure," Rodney groused. "The machine I hated kills me because I don't remember enough to keep from using it again."

"To be fair, it would never have activated if you had not possessed the gene to make it work," Lanca pointed out.

Rodney shrugged. "I knew that gene therapy could come back to bite me in the ass someday. But, hey, I've had a lot of fun with it so far. You guys never planned on _that_ when you sent me back, did you?"

"No, we did not." Lanca refused to rise to his bait, and Rodney was starting to like her less. "As I said, the choice is yours, but I feel it only fair to remind you that you were not entirely happy here before. And the Council would never let you return in any way that would give you a chance of returning to Atlantis."

So death it was then, apparently, if his backup ascension plan wasn't going to work. If Janus were around, ascension _might_ have had its perks...but, no, they'd have just gotten into trouble while trying to figure out another way to get to Atlantis. "Then I guess I'm going back." To die. Which really sucked, considering how much he'd just learned about himself.

"As you wish."

Rodney had heard _that_ before, when he was still Kynan. "Wait, wait, not yet. Before I go, I gotta know...what happened to Janus?" Had he ever made it to Atlantis or was he still languishing on Earth somewhere?

Lanca smiled serenely. "Search your heart. You already know."

With nothing better to do, and knowing he'd never get his answers unless he played her game, Rodney did. He remembered reaching out to heal Radek...those flashes of memories it had stirred up, Rodney now realized were _his_.

Except they weren't, not all of them.

Some of them were from the wrong perspective, like he was looking at himself.

"Radek?!" Rodney practically squeaked. Very un-Ancient-like. Good. He still didn't like them. He supposed he should have seen that coming, with the way he and Radek had always worked so well together between the snarkiness, the crap Radek put up with from him and only him, Radek's puppy-dog crush on Elizabeth... God, it made sense. And Radek didn't know...but, then, it would be hell to live, knowing what you could have had. The gene therapy hadn't worked on Radek. Once, Ancient technology had done his bidding, now he could only work with certain things if they'd been initialized first and some not at all. The Council was grateful, Rodney was sure, but hopefully, Radek's unconscious memories would stay that way.

"They will," Lanca assured him. It was creepy, how she'd read his mind like that. "Those unconscious pieces will always be a part of him, as Kynan's will always be a part of you. But they will be forever locked away, barring any unforeseen events such as the one you have encountered. Unenlightened human minds cannot handle such a conflict and maintain a healthy balance."

"I'm as enlightened as I like," Rodney insisted. "And I'm tired of playing games. If I'm going to die, let me rest in peace. Send me to my final destination; let me be an ex-parrot. And don't say 'as you wish.' Say anything else, please."

"All right." Lanca looked around. "I liked you. Rather, I liked Kynan. And so I will provide you with a final gift. You will understand it when you get there, but you will remember nothing else, like Radek."

Before Rodney could ask for clarification, he found himself back in the infirmary in a flash, and he had to tell Carson something. Not even thinking, acting only with the assurance of a crazed man, he lunged off the bed and grabbed Carson by the lab coat. Telepathically, he communicated the final key, the answer to save himself, but the effort exhausted the last of his reserves. He collapsed against the bed once more and the world shifted abruptly to black.

--------------

He'd almost had it, and almost was close enough. Rodney could only recall seconds spent in some void, latching onto the answer to save himself, and an urgent need to communicate it to Carson. Rodney knew he had been only a step away from ascension, and instead of taking it, he'd hopped on the banister and slid back down to the bottom of the staircase. And he was fine with that, because he really didn't like the Ancients much, and there wasn't much good he could see about spending a lot of time with them.

Rodney only wished his notes made more sense. All of the brilliant math? Gibberish now. And names he'd scribbled down. Why the hell had he been so interested in an Ancient named Kynan, other than the fact that they did the same job, essentially? Except Rodney did his so much better, because he didn't create ascension machines that came without obvious warning labels.

"Rodney."

Rodney glanced over his shoulder as Radek came into the lab. "Yeah, whaddya want?"

"Do you need any help in going over the equations?" Radek asked.

"Unless you understand them, no." Rodney sighed. "And the puddle jumpers would have been so cool with hyperdrive, too."

"I suppose it is not yet meant to be." Radek shrugged.

"Yeah, you're just a ray of sunshine, aren't you?" Rodney suspected there was more to this visit than an offer to help. "What's up?"

"I realized I never properly thanked you for saving my life," Radek said. "I was going to, but time was of the essence, and things came up."

Rodney waved him off. "You saved mine, too, working on that machine. We're even. Let's not talk about this again."

Radek nodded. "There is one other thing."

"Yeah?"

Radek's friendly smile morphed into a sly grin, and Rodney feared whatever might come next, because Radek could be evil when he wanted to. "When you spoke to me, in the lab...I was shocked, but ultimately, I am flattered. And, while I accept, there was no need for apology. Unfortunately, English lacks the proper concepts to share my true reaction with you, but I can say that I have always known your heart. And while, yes, you may be petty and vindictive at times, you are my friend."

Rodney was touched, and he smiled. "Thanks." As much as he hoped this wouldn't turn into a sap fest, Radek's words were nice to hear. "Um, was there anything else, or can I go make some coffee?"

"Just one thing," Radek said. "You may be my friend, but you do test the limits of my patience on a regular basis. You would not be yourself if you did not, but I urge you to remember one thing."

"What's that?" Rodney asked.

"When Lieutenant Cadman was in your body, she kissed Carson in the engineering lab. I have the security tapes, locked away from prying eyes for your protection. However, I _do_ have them." It should have been impossible for any one human being to look _that_ smug.

Rodney only shook his head, rolling his eyes. "I hate you."

Radek chuckled to himself on his way out of the lab. "I'm sure you will get over it."

_The End_


End file.
